Session Start: Wed Mar 03 21:27:35 2004
Session Ident: #taw
* Logging #taw to 'logs\EsperNet\#taw.20040303.log'
<Ire> Session 144: The Clown that Laughed
<Ire> Time Chart: May 5th
<Ire> Location: Building 38
<Ire> GM: *5 days have passed since Dahok became an undead creature of the night, much like Silouette was before.*
* Ire pulls a scanner away from Dahok.
* Ire taps a few buttons, scanning his previous scans when the transfer first occurred.
<Dahok> ...*looks at Ire*
<Ire> NRP: Er, comparing the two scans.
* Ire frowns, his eyebrows burrowing together.
<Dahok> ...What?...
<Ire> It seems your cell and tissue is coming apart on the genetic level. If you stay in this form too much longer, you could die ... for good. I don't think the transferring process could be considered a failure.
<Ire> (I think)
<Dahok> How much longer do I have then?
<Ire> Less than a week before the damage cannot be reversed. Less than two before you're nothing but a pile of dust.
* Ire sets the scanner now.
<Ire> (down)
<Dahok> ...Tell Sil to be ready in 6 days then to switch bodies...
<Ire> I think she's out partying.
<Dahok> ...Then leave her a message...*stands up*
<Ire> Hm. Yes. A message.
<Dahok> ......
<Dahok> *begins walking off*
<Ire> GM: *it's a beautiful day outside. The sun is shining, the wind is blowing, and the children are playing in the streets. Yes, nothing bad going on in Mega City*
* Dahok makes his way back outside and over to his roosting spot, the plant still sitting there infront of him
<Ire> GM: *up in the sky, a bright star can be seen ... odd, seeing as it's day...*
* Dahok looks up at the bright star, the look on his face emotionless
<Ire> GM: *the star gets brighter and brighter...until it looks like it's about to hit! A large object impacts near Dahok, sending out a sonic book and making a hole in the ground. Smoke rises up from the small carter*
<Ire> NRP: crater.
* Dahok sits there, his hair flapping around from the sonic boom
<Ire> GM: *as the smoke clears, a small spacepod can be seen. The door on it begins to lower*
<Ire> <Voice> Hey he---*cough cough* fuck it. *out steps a reploid clown, an unshaven face painted on him. He reaches into an oversized pocket on his shirt and pulls out a pack of cigs. Whacking the pack, he removes a cig and lights it, drawing a good puff from it*
* Dahok turns away from the small spacepod and goes back to looking at the plant
<Ire> GM: *the clown walks over, looking around. He points at Dahok* You.
* Dahok head turns to the clown, his face emotionless
*** Kimera is now known as Silouette
<Ire> <Clown> Make me laugh.
* Dahok looks at the clown
* Dahok turns his head back to the plant and cups his hands around it
<Ire> <Clown> I said make me laugh!
<Dahok> ...Can't you see I'm busy...
<Ire> 6* Bimbo the Clown stands there, staring at Dahok. He takes another drag. "Fine, I'll cut you a deal. You make me laugh and I don't blow up the planet.
* Silouette walks into the building, dressed in her civies, and heads to the kitchen for a snack, pausing a moment to glance at Dahok and his new friend.
* Dahok turns his head back to the clown
<Dahok> ...You're a reploid aren't you.
<Ire> <Bimbo> Wow, a regular sherlock here! 6Goes to laugh at his joke, but just sighs, taking another drag.
<Dahok> ...If you make an attempt to blow up this planet you face the chance of starting a war on your home planet...
* Ire glances out his window, seeing a reploid clown next to his rocketship. He sighs, reaching for his asprin.
<Ire> <Bimbo> Boom! Boom! Make me laugh.
<Dahok> ...Fine...
<Dahok> ...There's two muffins in a conventional oven, baking at 400 Degrees. A Chocolate Chip Muffin and a Blueberry Muffin.
<Ire> 6* Bimbo listens, still taking drags from his cig.
<Dahok> ...The Blueberry Muffin turns to the Chocolate Muffin and says "Boy it's hot in here"...
<Ire> 6* Bimbo taps his big floppy foot on the ground.
<Dahok> ...The Chocolate Muffin turns to the Blueberry Muffin and says "Holy Shit a Talking Muffin"... *finishes it with a blank look on his face*
<Ire> <Bimbo> Yeah. ... okay. Did I mention the time limit to make me laugh if one hour?
<Silouette> *wanders over to Ire, munching on half a sub* Who's Dahok's friend there?
* Ire shakes his empty bottle over his hand, sighing.
<Ire> I don't want to know.
<Dahok> ...How bout this instead...You make me laugh and you can blow up the planet...If you can't, I get to cut out you're funny bone...
<Ire> <Bimbo> No deal.
<Dahok> ...You afraid you can't make me laugh?...
<Ire> 6* Bimbo takes another drag. He looks at an invisible watch.
<Silouette> It can't be good... He looks like a child molester.
* Dahok stares at the clown
* Ire pauses in shaking the empty bottle to look at Sil.
<Ire> 6* Bimbo sits on the ground, as if waiting.
* Dahok continues staring at Bimbo
<Silouette> *shudders* I really hope Dahok hasn't gotten so desperate, he's taken up that hobby.
* Ire keeps staring at Sil. He rubs his face, muttering something about Dahok being bad enough as it was.
<Dahok> ...I'm still waiting for you to make me laugh...
<Ire> 6* Bimbo just casually smokes, glancing at an invisible watch.
<Dahok> ...Clowns are supposed to be funny, but you're not very funny...
* Ire notes five minutes has passed since they've just begun staring at each other.
<Dahok> ...*taps his comm*...Ire, Sil, come down...
* Ire glances at his comm. He shudders slightly, before heading for the door to go downstairs.
<Dahok> ...You want funny, take a look at the two on their way out...
* Ire steps out of the building and walks over. He stands there, looking at the smoking clown, then at Dahok.
* Silouette sighs, and takes the quick way down.
<Ire> <Bimbo> ...
* Ire stands there, uncomfortable.
<Ire> 6* Bimbo takes another drag.
<Dahok> ...The clown says make him laugh or go boom.
<Ire> Excuse me?
<Silouette> *looks Dahok, then the clown, then back* ...you're shitting me, right?
<Dahok> ...*turns to Sil*...Does it look like I'm kidding?...
<Silouette> *glances levely at Dahok* I can't tell when you're joking NORMALLY.
<Ire> Hold on, what do you mean by .... boom?
<Dahok> ...The clown here said he'd blow up the Earth..
* Ire pauses, then grabs a handgun and shoots at Bimbo. Somehow, all the shots miss him.
<Ire> 6* Bimbo takes another drag of his cig.
<Ire> ...
* Silouette trys poking the clown in the forehead.
* Dahok turns back to his plant and cups his hand around it
<Ire> <Bimbo> 'ey!
* Ire just stands there.
<Silouette> Okay, so I'm not imagining things...
* Ire stands there, looking at Sil
<Ire> Make it laugh so we can go.
<Silouette> What? Me?!
<Ire> ....yes
* Silouette sighs and looks to the clown.
<Ire> 6* Bimbo finishes his cig. He throws it down.
<Silouette> So clown... Why did you come HERE of all places?
<Ire> <Bimbo> Lookin' for the Hunters, but they're gone.
<Dahok> ...Wasn't Slasher a hunter...
<Silouette> Er, yeah. I think I heard something like that.
* Ire stands there, silent. He seems to be eyeing the clown like it's a mad dog.
<Dahok> ...Ire you're a drunk, you should know some jokes...
<Silouette> Um... Funny, hmm...
<Ire> ...I don't.
<Silouette> *Completely serious* We're going to save the world.
* Ire stares at her, as does Bimbo.
* Silouette just holds the expression.
<Ire> 6* In the background, a newspaper blows by
* Silouette sighs in defeat
<Ire> ...that's it?
<Silouette> Well, I mean, come on! Look at us. I think the idea is pretty funny.
<Ire> <Bimbo and Ire> ....
* Ire eyes Dahok stroking his plant, then at Sil, then at Bimbo. He sighs.
<Silouette> I've been dead for the past I forget how many years, what do you want from me?
<Dahok> ...*sighs and stands up*
<Ire> The planet is going to be destroyed by a clown. *sighs* I hate my life.
<Dahok> ...*turns back to the clown and walks over to him*
<Silouette> *pokes the clown* I bet the bot doesn't even have emotion circuits.
* Dahok looks the clown up and down very methodically
<Ire> 6* Bimbo bites her finger.
<Dahok> ...She's gotta point, how do we know you can even laugh?
* Silouette pulls her finger back and sticks her tounge out at him.
<Ire> <Bimbo> I use to be the funniest person alive. Life was a joke and I was it's joker. ... but then it left me one day.
<Dahok> ...Great a sap story...
<Ire> <Bimbo> 20 mins left.
<Dahok> ...And I used to be alive and could feel things but then I had it taken away...
<Dahok> ...Can't even get a friggin erection...
* Silouette whistles innocently.
* Ire looks at Dahok.
<Ire> <Bimbo> ....
<Dahok> ...But you don't see me crying about it and saying 'm gonna go blow up a world...
* Ire sighs.
<Ire> Great. Two sob stories.
<Dahok> ...Atleast I'm not a pill-popping drunk...
<Ire> Excuse me? *Frowns*
<Silouette> *shakes her head* This is pathetic...
<Dahok> ...*shrugs*
* Ire turns away.
<Dahok> ...And no sir I won't excuse you for your problems...
* Ire turns back around
<Ire> WHAT did you say?
<Dahok> ...Denial isn't just a river in Egypt...
* Ire grabs his gun and shoots Dahok in the head.
* Dahok head snaps back from the shot
<Ire> <Bimbo> *stares*
* Ire puts the gun back up.
<Ire> He's dead. He'll be fine.
<Silouette> *looks at Bimbo* You still think my original comment isn't funny?
<Dahok> ...Now not you've shot me, you going to go finish you're bottle of whiskey?
<Ire> <Bimbo> No.
<Silouette> So you admit it is funny!
<Ire> <Bimbo> No.
<Silouette> Now you're contradicting yourself.
<Ire> <Bimbo> No?
<Silouette> *bzz* I'm sorry, the correct answer was 'yes'. Better luck next time.
<Ire> <Bimbo> .... No.
* Ire stares at Dahok.
<Silouette> ...you're not really very bright, are you?
<Ire> <Bimbo> Not really.
<Dahok> ...By the slowness of your resopnses, I'd say you're drunk right now...
* Ire pulls out the gun and unloads a clip into Dahok.
<Silouette> I didn't think so. It's okay though, it's not your fault.
* Dahok every shot connects and either imbeds or goes through him
<Ire> 6* Bimbo watches the two fighting.
* Ire puts the gun back into it's holster.
<Dahok> ...Can't even fight me unless you have a gun...
<Dahok> ...Hey I hear Aya's back in town and she's carrying you're baby...
<Ire> ... *eyes Dahok*
<Dahok> ...You're sex life is about as lively as Tikal is...
* Ire pauses. His right eye twitches.
* Silouette winces.
* Dahok begins counting down
* Ire tackles Dahok, slamming him into the ground. He places the gun right against the side of Dahok's head. Even being undead, a shot to the brain will end it for him.
<Dahok> NRP: *he's mouthing it*
<Ire> 6* Bimbo claps, enjoying the fight.
* Dahok looks up at Ire
* Ire tightens his finger around the trigger.
<Dahok> ...I don't think you want anymore members deaths on your hands...
<Ire> <Bimbo> *giggles* Shoot him! Shoot him!
<Dahok> NRP: A giggle is a laugh!
* Ire hovers over Dahok, the handgun trembling. He punches Dahok in the nose as hard as he can and rises.
<Silouette> Hard to shoot someone with an empty clip, eh boss?
* Dahok head pops back from the punch
* Ire looks at Sil. He then looks back at Dahok. He marches off.
<Ire> 6* Bimbo prances around, making fighting sounds.
* Dahok stands upright
<Dahok> ...*turns to Bimbo* You giggled, that's a laugh...now leave this plnaet alone...
<Ire> 6* Bimbo pauses. He takes a deep breath, his eyes lighting up. "I...I laughed! I laughed! MWAHAHAHAHAHAH!"
<Ire> 6* Bimbo twirls around and in a flash, the drawn on beard is gone. 1"Hey Hey hey, Bimbo is back for some DESTRUCTION AND MAYHEM!"
<Silouette> If that's a joke, you're really not funny.
<Dahok> ...*stares at Bimbo*
<Ire> 6* Bimbo slaps a clown nose on Sil's face.
* Silouette looks at Bimbo with a 'what the hell' expression
<Ire> <Bimbo> Honk! 6Pinches the nose, causing it to explode in her face with the impact of a truck
<Dahok> ...Now it's your turn, make me laugh...
<Ire> <Bimbo> Hey hey hey! 6Pulls out a flower and bonks Dahok with it, turning him into a frog*
* Silouette gets thrown back, not expecting THAT.
<Dahok> *croaks*
<Ire> <Bimbo> Frogggggyyyyy.
<Ire> 6* Bimbo pulls out a giant pot and throws Dahok in, then slowly begins to turn up the heat. "It's a well known fact that if you raise the temp slowly, then Frogs don't notice and will boil to death."
* Silouette gets up, not happy, and charges her bracer as she goes to punch Bimbo.
<Ire> 6* As Bimbo is hit, a giant POW appears above him. He goes flying back into a tree, dropping the pot. Dahok turns back to normal.
<Silouette> Yatta! *kicks the pot at Bimbo before it hits the ground*
* Dahok pops out of the pot and hits the ground
<Ire> 6* As the pot hits Bimbo in the face, "BOING" appears in the air.
* Dahok pushes himself up and dusts himself offf
<Ire> 6* Bimbo throws a clown nose at Dahok .... an exploding clown nose.
* Dahok sides steps the nocse
<Ire> 6* The nose hits a catgon, blowing it up.
<Ire> <Bimbo> Did I do that? MWahahahahahah!
<Silouette> Good shot!
<Ire> 6* Bimbo poses.
* Dahok dashes at Bimbo, throwing a wide left hook into his jaw
<Ire> 6* Bimbo opens his mouth wide, the hand going inside his mouth. He then closes it down.
<Ire> <Bimbo> Needs hot sauce.
* Dahok lets Bimbo clamp down on his gauntlet
* Dahok tries to grab onto whatever he inside Bimbos' mouth
<Ire> *a tongue!*
* Dahok grabs onto Bimbo's tongue and yanks
<Ire> 6* Bimbo makes odd faces as his tongue is yanked on.
* Dahok pokes Bimbo in his eyes with his free hand
<Ire> 6* Bimbo's eyes fall out, as does his tongue. He stumbles around, then grabs a make-up pad and fixes his face up.
* Dahok takes this time to try to knee Bimbo in the crotch
<Ire> <Bimbo> ... hmmm, I know I was suppose to have SOMETHING there.... oh, wait... 6Pulls Slasher out of his pants.
<Dahok> Slasher: *stands next to Bimbo* ....What the hell...*looks around confused*
<Dahok> ......
* Silouette turns away in disgust
<Dahok> Slasher: *see's Bimbo next to him* GAHHHH!!!!!
<Ire> <Bimbo> BAAAAAH!!!!
<Dahok> Slasher: AHHHHHHH!!!!
<Ire> <Bimbo> DAAAAAAH!
<Dahok> Slasher: Aren't you dead?
<Ire> <Bimbo> ... hmmm, let me check. 6Pulls out his heart. "Hmmm, doesn't seem to be working."
<Silouette> Here, let me help you with that.
* Silouette grabs the heart with her shocking grasp
<Ire> 6* Bimbo makes skeletal images as he's zapped. Afterwards, the heart starts beating. He puts it back in his chest. "Thanks!"
<Dahok> Slasher: You know...If you cleaned up a little more...I think Cheryl might let you partake in our festivitives..
<Ire> <Bimbo> Oh! oh! Party! PARTY
<Dahok> Slasher: Wait no...No you can't.
<Ire> 6* Bimbo pulls Cheryl out of his pants.