Session Start: Sun Aug 10 00:04:03 2003
Session Ident: #taw
* Logging #taw to 'logs\EsperNet\#taw.20030810.log'
<DeathStar> Session 89: The Lost Tale
<DeathStar> Time Chart: January 19th, 2200
<DeathStar> Location: The Fury
<DeathStar> GM: *The Fury is a 5 mile long space ship, the biggest in the history of the galaxy, and inside carries a city made by the million humans that were transported from Earth moments before Xevil bombed it to death. After a series of tragedies, the team has finally been given a break, it seems, to get their act together. Currently, they lack any real direction and are just randomly floating around*
* Snipe stands in the training room, tensed. He leaps forward and kicks a training sim straight into the wall, watching it explode with satisfaction. He twists, looking from side to side.
*** Sherin-Workin has joined #taw
* Garland sits off to the side, meditating. His face is placid, almost smiling. His legs are crossed one over the other.
* DeathStar stands on an observation deck, closed off to the civilians, and looks out at the stars going by as the Fury drifts aimlessly in space. He holds out a hand and rests it on the window.
* Snipe elbow rams another training sim, sending them flying back. He wipes the sweat off his face, throwing the beads of sweat off. He grins, arrogantly, and tells the training sim to turn off. He pops his neck, looking at Garland.
<Snipe> I think those things are getting better than YOU, old timer.
* Garland opens his eyes, brushing a lock of hair from them, revealing their aquamarine color. "Keep dreaming!"
* Snipe wags a finger.
<Snipe> If you keep angsting, you'll never get better than me.
* Garland stands up. "Who's angsting? And what are you talking about? I am better than you."
* Snipe gives a simple shrug.
<Snipe> Did I just hear your bones creak?
* Garland appears behind Snipe "You're hearing things, as always."
* Snipe turns around to face Garland, crossing his arms defiantely.
* Garland eyes Snipe
<Snipe> I don't know. You look pretty old to me.
<Garland> You ever hear of a snipe hunt? They're jokes, you know.
<Snipe> A wha?
<Garland> Kid. *puts his hands on his hips and laughs*
* Snipe growls dangerously.
<Garland> Hit a nerve! *jumps on his tip-toes backwards*
<Garland> What, you can't drink legally? That'd piss me off too!
* Garland grins mischeviously.
<Snipe> I don't know. Can Chiere hold THEIR liqour?
<Garland> I'll drink you under a table, lad.
<Snipe> Likely story.
<Garland> That a challenge!?
<Snipe> I'll show you how it's done, if you want, old timer. I don't see much challenge in THAT, though. *holds his hand to his chin thoughtfully*
<Garland> Oh 'grow up.'
<Snipe> Has Death Star been teaching you how to act all righteous lately?
<Garland> Tch! I don't need him to teach me! I'm my own man!
<Snipe> Iiii don't know. You seem to hang on his every sacred word lately.
<Garland> He's a great leader! Much better than you'll ever be, obviously!
<Snipe> He's past his prime. All he can do now is spat out proverbs and act all holy.
<Garland> And holy isn't a good thing? *beams*
* Snipe scowls and waves his hands.
<Snipe> You two are quite the peas in the pod.
<Garland> I'm just a humble priest. *gestures submissively*
<Snipe> Is THAT what you are? I was thinking more like arrogant, self-centered, "I am God himself".
<Garland> He's actually kind of soft spoken.
* Snipe shakes his head, obviously growing bored. He grabs a nearby towel and begins to dry hsi face.
<Garland> Alright little boy, you go do your leadership thing, if that's what you call it.
* Snipe glares at Garland.
<Snipe> Like you could do anything better.
<Garland> I can, and have!
<Snipe> Is that right? Between times you were running off to CorSec?
* Garland scowls.
<Garland> I was young!
<Snipe> And stupid. Not that the stupid part has changed any.
<Garland> Yeah... yeah...!? Well, you have crabs!
* Snipe has his fist tighten on his towel
<Snipe> What. Did. You. Just. Say?
<Garland> They have a shampoo for that, you know?
* DeathStar suddenly leaps at Garland, about to throw a kick at his face when the lights in the training room brighten up. He stops in mid air, glancing to his left in surprise.
<DeathStar> NRP: Snipe did that
* Snipe suddenly leaps at Garland, about to throw a kick at his face when the lights in the training room brighten up. He stops in mid air, glancing to his left in surprise.
* Garland looks to the left.
* DeathStar stands there, arms crossed. He has his head angled a bit.
<DeathStar> Did I interrupt your male bonding?
* Garland points at Snipe ".. He started it."
* Snipe lands on his feet, glaring at Garland
<Snipe> I'll finish it and you, too!
* Garland puts his finger under his eye. "Nyaaah!
* Snipe throws a punch at Garland's face.
* DeathStar facepalms.
* Garland jumps back and rolls.
<Garland> Too slow!
* Snipe suddenly appears behind Garland.
<Snipe> Too loud.
* Snipe kicks out.
* Garland teleports
<Garland> Too childish.
* Snipe looks from left to right.
<Snipe> Come on and finish what you started, Garland.
* Garland stands on Snipe's head.
* Snipe suddenly leaps straight up for the ceiling.
<Garland> What I started? My, twisting history to your liking again?
* Garland flies out of the way, kicking him down.
* DeathStar watches silently.
* Snipe twists in mid air and bounces off the ground back up into it.
<Snipe> I'll twist you inside out.
<Garland> And I'll... I'll... you have crabs!
* Snipe passes by Garland, then suddenly unleashes a lightning kick at his head.
<Garland> Ow! *stumbles* You kicked me in the ear!
* DeathStar lands on the ground
<DeathStar> NRP: Snipe
<Snipe> Maybe it'll help your hearing.
* Garland slams his fist into Snipe's gut.
* Snipe grimaces, sliding back some. He gets this wicked grin
<Snipe> That your best!@?
<Garland> Any more and I'd kill you. *winks*
* Snipe suddenly leaps over Garland and tries to ram his elbow into his back.
* Garland looks annoyed.
* Snipe backflips away.
<Garland> KIAMA!
* DeathStar tilts his head as he watches.
* Garland punches Snipe.
* Snipe stumbles back, blood running down his mouth. He rears back and returns the favor at Garland's nose.
* Garland stumbles back, grabbing his nose.
<Garland> Sonova....! *falls on his butt holding his nose*
* Snipe wipes his mouth, staring at the blood on his hand.
<DeathStar> Do you two ever get tired of doing that?
* Garland looks at DS.
<Snipe> Stay out of this!
<Garland> Stay out of this!
* DeathStar sighs.
* Garland bum rushes Snipe
<Snipe> OUF!
* Snipe is slammed against a wall. He leans back into it and kicks out at Garland.
* Garland bats at the kick with his arm.
* Snipe twists and rolls along the ground behind Garland. He spins and uppercuts at his back.
* Garland punches the top of Snipe's head "Learn to fight, crabby!"
* Snipe stumbles back, holding his head.
<Snipe> Alright, why don't you show me some moves you learned in CorSec?!
* Garland punches him in the face
<Garland> Stop talking so much!
* Snipe slides back, his face tilted to the side. He rotates his head around and looks back at Garland.
<Snipe> Done.
* Snipe appears above Garland, kicking down at his head.
* DeathStar eats a banana as he watches.
* Garland punches upwards
* Snipe watches his blow collide with Garland's. He flips away.
* Garland teleports behind snipe, drumming on his head.
* Snipe ducks lower and sweeps Garland.
* Garland falls on Snipe.
* Snipe grunts and shoves Garland away.
* Garland wrestles Snipe to the ground.
* Snipe rolls with Garland, slamming them both into various walls.
* DeathStar teardrops.
<DeathStar> Oy, Jesus.
* Garland gets tangled up with Snipe, biting at his ankle.
<Snipe> OW!
* Snipe bites on Gar's ear.
<Garland> Gaaaah!
* DeathStar suddenly appears between Gar and Snipe, holding each in one hand, keeping them away from each other.
* Garland reaches for Snipe.
* Snipe scrambles for Garland.
<Garland> I'll get you!
<Snipe> You're mine!
* DeathStar sighs
<DeathStar> I think Admiral Drake wanted to see us.
<Garland> That can wait, this is about honor!
<Snipe> I'll show him the power of the McCormicks.
<DeathStar> ...
<Garland> What power?
<Snipe> Just watch.
* DeathStar begins to shake them both rapidly.
<Garland> Show me.
<Snipe> Just as soon as the Fury keeps bouncing up and down!
<DeathStar> ....*stops bouncing them* You mean stops.
<Snipe> That too.
* Garland stands there. "BAH!"
* DeathStar lets them go.
* Snipe crosses his arms.
* Garland turns his nose up to Snipe.
<DeathStar> I need a drink. *walks out, shaking his head*
<Snipe> Hmph.
<Garland> Bah.
* Garland turns away from Snipe.
* Snipe turns away from Garland.
<Garland> ... We should probably talk to Drake like DS wanted.
<Snipe> ...Yeah.
<Garland> ...
<Snipe> ...
<Garland> I would have won.
<Snipe> You would have so had my foot up your ass.
<Garland> You wouldn't have had a foot if DS didn't stop me.
<Snipe> You wouldn't have had any hands when I ripped them off and bitched slapped you with them.
<Garland> You have crabs.
<Snipe> You have a brain tumor.
<Garland> ... I need a drink. *walks out*
<Snipe> ... I need sex with a hot chick. *walks out*
* DeathStar stands on the bridge of the Fury, talking with Drake. He holds a bottle of whiskey as he talks.
* Garland heads to the bar.
* Snipe grabs a jacket and walks along the streets of the city. He scans for possible suspects.
<DeathStar> You know, I give up. Those two are probably slapping each other senseless right now.
<DeathStar> Drake: Yep.
<DeathStar> Sometimes I feel as if no one listens to me.
<DeathStar> Drake: Yep
<DeathStar> And I'm really annoyed with that
*** Kim[AWAY] is now known as Kimera
<DeathStar> Drake: Yep
<DeathStar> ...are you listening to me?
<DeathStar> Drake: Yep
<DeathStar> ...Sally Sue Sells Sea Shells by the Seashore
<DeathStar> Drake: Yep
* DeathStar sighs.
* Garland orders a gallon of vodka.
* DeathStar takes a seat, sipping the bottle of whiskey. The moment the computer lights up to retort him, he pounds it with his fist.
* Snipe ends up in the bar, taking a seat. He looks dejected.
<Snipe> Everyone is washing their hair.
<Garland> With that shampoo, I bet. *eyes him*
* Snipe pounds the bar, pointing at him
*** Sherin-Workin is now known as Sherinmir
<Snipe> I will so pound your ass.
<Garland> Not with all the scratching you're doing!
<Snipe> ...How can I be scratching? I'm groping a woman right now! *pauses, then turns to eye the woman he's groping* Hi... *gets face slapped*
<Garland> You pervert!
<Snipe> ....you angst filled, self-loathing, copy cat.
<Garland> Pervert!
<Snipe> ....
<Snipe> You--You're not even worth the effort!
* Snipe orders some beer.
<Garland> And you're a waste of alchohol!
* Snipe points at Garland.
<Snipe> You. Are. STUPID.
<Garland> You. Have. CRABS.
<Snipe> How would you know? It's not like YOU've been laid in CENTURIES.
<Garland> I'm twenty-seven!
* Snipe cups a hand to his ear
<Snipe> What's that? Your voice is cracking with age.
<Garland> Go play in the kiddie pool, little man!
* Snipe throws his beer can at Garland.
<Garland> I told you you were a waste of alchohol.
<DeathStar> Bartender: *sighs, watching them fight. All the customers just stare*
* Snipe slaps a hand against the bar and points at Garland
<Snipe> Stupid. Stupid. STUPID.
*** Sherinmir is now known as Diamondback
<Garland> <Little kid> Mommy, why is that man argueing with the preacher?
* Snipe spins around, pointing at Garland
<Snipe> He's an agent of the DEVIL. THE DEV-IL!
<Garland> <Mother> He's the bad man that the Father talked about. The one with a colony of demons living in his crotch.
<Snipe> ....
<Garland> <Little kid> Mommy, I'm scared!
* Snipe twitches.
* Diamondback charges into the bar. He looks rather beat up, and the front of his hair is sticking straight up, and is holding a spoon. A moment later, Spectre goes charging past the entrance, screaming for DB to stop running. Diamondback snickers, panting heavily.
<Diamondback> <We're... out of peanut butter.>
<Garland> NRP: Looks like someone got laid.
<Garland> ... *stares at DB*
* Snipe stares at DB.
<Snipe> ...I ... Hate....You.
<Garland> <Woman> *eyes DB* God hates people who have uncouth 'relations'.
* Diamondback shrugs, still panting. He brushes back his hair and puts his cap on. <So I've got mad skills.>
* Diamondback looks at the woman, then at the spoon he's holding, then back at the woman. He quickly puts his hands behind his back, laughing and sweating nervously.
<DeathStar> ....well, just a month ago you two were SHARING a body! Now that's "mad skills"
<DeathStar> NRP: Snipe said that.
<Garland> <Woman> *puts her hands on the little boy's ears*
<Diamondback> <Hey, it isn't my fault I died! Er, well... you know what I mean, crab-boy.>
<Snipe> I DON'T HAVE CRABS, PEOPLE!!!!
<Diamondback> <Tell it to the doctor.> *grins evilly*
<Snipe> What did you say? My little psionic communicator broke again. Damn Slasher and his new inventions.
* Snipe pulls something out of his ear, tapping it.
<Diamondback> Stick it up your... *eyes the kid* Yeah.
* Snipe glares.
<Garland> <Woman> Brother Carter is an odd one...
<Snipe> We all have a Carter in the family. .... Hey, except ME. *beams*
<Garland> <Woman> I don't.
<Kimera> NRP: *doesn't comment*
<Garland> I don't.
<Garland> <Bartender> I don't.
<Garland> <Drake> I don't.
<Snipe> Just wait, Garland. Just you wait. Your family will grow to be this big. *spreads his hands*
<DeathStar> NRP: Drake is on the bridge, silly.
<Garland> NRP: That's the charm of it.
* DeathStar looks up at Drake
<DeathStar> What did you say?
<DeathStar> <Drake> Yep.
<Garland> NRP: LOL
<Snipe> ....you know, there was something we had to do with Drake. I just can't remember, though.
* Garland shrugs.
<Snipe> Maybe he wanted us to go to Tony's Pizza.
<Diamondback> <No way. I'm off today.>
* Snipe doesn't respond.
<Garland> <Hey DB, Snipe's being an ass today. We should mess with him.>
* Snipe scratches his face idly, waiting for some response to his pizza suggestion.
<Diamondback> <My favorite hobby. Pissing Snipe off.> *grins*
<Snipe> Hello? Pizza?
<Garland> <We should both say "Crabs." to him in unison.>
<Diamondback> <Right.>
<Garland> *looks at Snipe* Crabs.
<Diamondback> *looks at Snipe* Crabs.
<Snipe> *looks at Garland* Fuck. *looks at Diamondback* You.
<Diamondback> Not right now.
* Snipe walks out.
* Garland orders a drink for DB
<Garland> Nice.
<Diamondback> We're good. He's going to remember that one for years.
<DeathStar> NRP: LOL
<DeathStar> NRP: *Snipe looks up from telling the TAW3 story* I never forgot, kids. NEVEr.
<Garland> NRP: <Snipe> *looks at the kids around the campfire* And that, children, is how they psions held a conspiracy against me. I hate those bastards and I'm glad their gone.
<DeathStar> NRP: LOL
<Garland> NRP: <Snipe> *plays a song on his guitar about hating everyone* I'm glad I live alone out here in the wasteland, even if they say it makes you crazy. But you're here to keep me from going crazy, aren't you? *the listening children are really Wraith wreckage, shrapnel, and an empty box of cigarettes*
<DeathStar> NRP: LOL
<DeathStar> NRP: Okay, we're jumping times now.
*** Snipe is now known as Captain_Drake
*** DeathStar is now known as Katrina`
<Diamondback> NRP: I'm jumping ship here, then.
*** Snipe has joined #taw
<Katrina`> NRP: Kay.
<Katrina`> ------
<Katrina`> Time Chart: September 10th, 2222
<Katrina`> Location: Aquarius
*** Garland is now known as Sardis
* Snipe leans back, looking at those present for his story.
*** Diamondback is now known as Cardinal
<Snipe> Now, kids, that's a true tale.
<Sardis> The history books never said anything about this.
* Snipe tightens his hand into a fist.
<Snipe> Damn them and their jokes. Always joking with me.
<Captain_Drake> ...
<Captain_Drake> Did my Uncle really just go "Yep" a lot?
<Cardinal> ...I always heard the human enhanced were cocky assholes. Now, I know it was just when you were around. *smirks*
<Snipe> Probably. He was to boring to remember clearly.
* Snipe shoots Cardinal a glare.
* Cardinal grins slyly
<Snipe> You invite me onto your ship while I'm doing recon in space just to INSULT me?
<Cardinal> At ease, I was kidding around.
* Snipe coughs into his hand.
<Katrina`> Did people ignore Dad for real?
<Snipe> Yep.
<Sardis> ... Snipe, you truely are the greatest of all the old heroes. *bows his head*
<Snipe> Yep.
<Captain_Drake> ...Are you listening to us?
<Snipe> Yep.
<Sardis> Do you have crabs?
<Snipe> Ye--FUCK YOU!
<Sardis> I was only verifying...
* Snipe sighs, rubbing the back of his head.
<Snipe> Some things never change, no matter the year.
<Sardis> Am I correct in learning that according to you, the one known as Garland was a joke?
<Snipe> Well....
* Katrina` gives him a look.
<Snipe> You see...
<Snipe> He was a tank. Really. A tnak.
<Sardis> It's interesting, since that Emerald Sword artifact seems to be some sort of pillar to a number of things...
* Sardis thinks..
<Snipe> The Emerald Sword? How do you know about that?
* Snipe leans forward.
<Sardis> Skaad, a Tsivrixsh has it.
<Snipe> ....
* Snipe looks a bit grim.
<Katrina`> Is there something we should know?
* Sardis looks to Katrina.
<Snipe> Oh, nothing. I wasn't exactly around during all the emerald sword nonsense, so all I caught were tidbits.
* Snipe casually gropes Cardinal as he talks.
<Captain_Drake> ...
* Cardinal backhands Snipe. Hard.
<Snipe> OW!.
* Sardis hrms.
* Snipe readjusts his reading glasses, standing up. He adjusts his brown coat, caked with dirt and taps his boots on the floor.
<Snipe> I should probably get going. I was heading back to Earth.
* Cardinal rubs her hand, glaring angrily at Snipe.
<Snipe> At ease. I was only kidding around.
* Snipe gives a little wave, stepping off the bridge.
<Katrina`> Bye, John!
<Captain_Drake> What an odd fellow.
<Cardinal> I wasn't groping your balls when I was kidding, either. *shakes her head*
*** Snipe has left #taw
<Sardis> That was an odd experience...
<Captain_Drake> Maybe you get crazy with age.
<Cardinal> He's one of the legendary heroes? How in the goddess's name did they accomplish anything...?
<Katrina`> Well, if you listened to his story, all they did was fight and drink.
* Katrina` pauses to reflect this, looking at Black passed out in the corner.
<Cardinal> And have kinky sex involving peanut butter and psionics, apparently.
<Katrina`> ...I could have lived my life without knowing Mr. Carter did that.
<Sardis> I'm glad I've never met them.
* Captain_Drake stands up, looking all professional again.
<Captain_Drake> Hopefully, we never will!
* Sardis nods in agreement.
<Cardinal> Yeah. If they're all like that guy... *shudders*
<Katrina`> I don't know. They were nice. At least to me.
<Katrina`> S.E.S.S.I.O.N E.N.D.S
<Cardinal> I guess we all have our little... I can't remember the English word... idio-something.
*** Captain_Drake is now known as TAW
<Cardinal> Put that line in the log, or I drive to Rocky Ford and kick your ass. :P
*** Katrina` is now known as DeathStar
<DeathStar> Will do
Session Close: Sun Aug 10 01:44:58 2003