Pulling myself out of the bed, I glance around the room. Looks like Death Star moved out. Thank God. I don't think I could have stayed another day with him before I personally ripped off his Godliness and handed it to him on a brass platter. . . ego doesn't even deserve a silver platter.
Also, it looked like his little flying pet lizard wasn't around to bother me either. Hey, miracles do happen at Christmas. It's friggin' amazing.
Standing up I gaze around the room. Grave's gone. Yay. Bu---what the hell is that SMELL!? Did something crawl in here and DIE last night in Grave's bed!? My GOD!
Quickly dressing I escape the smell of the room, hitting the button to close it behind me. Why in hell's name does my room have to be sprayed for pests, which I had none to begin with, and then room have to be locked out for the next few days just so the room can air out after having some chemicals spray to heavy? I swear, it's a conspiracy. I'm probably being stalked by Santa Claus. . .
I quickly move down the hall, tightening my long coat around me before I shove my hands into the pockets. For once I'm out of my uniform and wearing a long grey coat, black shirt and black plants, with black sunglasses. Hey, at least the coat isn't black. No one can say I rip off classics. Anyway, I moved down the hallway, not noticing a man in a red and white outfit following me, wearing a red hat too. Hmmm . . . wonder who the friggin' hell that could be? Damn conspiracy.
Glancing down at the menu to see what I ordered, knowing I did select a different coffee than normal, I noticed I had picked X1 Special, supplied by UO Inc. Even with the warmth of the coffee I felt chilled. Or was that the coffee eroding my stomach?
Either way, I reached into the coat and pulled out some change, throwing it onto the counter, and walked away, leaving the coffee. No sense in dying in order to wake up and be more cheerful. I personally feel there's nothing wrong with a person not being a morning person. They can kiss my ass.
Walking along, I glanced around, seeing the Christmas cheer around me. Feeling a little more awake, I didn't go out and kill some holiday spirit with a gun laughing insanely to the tune of jingle bells. They just better be glad I got that coffee first.
Stopping in front of a store with some blinking lights, I stared at them for awhile. Blink. Blink. Blink. Blink. Pulling myself away from the lights, I glanced around once more at the holiday spirit, noticing a Santa Claus standing at the end of a street, ringing a bell. Damn conspiracy.
Walking along the street, I passed by the shops. Being on duty so often I had never really had the chance to check out the city everyone so talked about down here. I always lived by the motto to get things done in a hurry. Always have plenty time to die later.
Stopping by, I turned my glance toward a few women chatting, one of them reminding me of Matsuoka, though it wasn't her. That's when I thought to Andrew and Spirit, Chris and Spectre - - - okay, so that wasn't a good example to lead into my thing, Dias and Elayne - - - okay, so that's only a rumor, 'sides, how could she actually STAND him, and Slasher and Cheryl - - - not going there, not one bit. I thought to myself, alone. I had always been the ladies man back on Earth, never without a date. But that changed once Earth was blown. Maybe because it blew away a good portion of the dating population? Damn alien bastards. Chalk up another one for evil.
But still, throwing the jokes aside, I knew what I needed. Stopping, I sighed. I needed a date. To go out with a woman and have a good time. Grinning at the women I made my way over to them to ask one of the charming ladies if they would like a date with me. I quickly retreated with the right side of my face stinging. Maybe it was going to take more time to get back into my old groove? . . .maybe I should go get more coffee. I'm still damned tired.
Snapping myself out of it I walked over to her table. "Is this seat taken Miss?" I asked sexily.
She glanced up at me. "Not interested." I wasn't so easily taken down and started to make conversation with her.
"So, what are you doing tonight, Miss?" I questioned.
She laid the book down and locked her blue eyes on mine. I felt myself being lost into them. . . oh oceaaaaaan sea, I am the captain of an oceaaaaaaan vessel. "I'll be hanging out with some of my girlfriends."
I grinned. "Just going to hang out with some friends? Don't you have some boyfriend, husband even, to spend Christmas Eve with?"
She shook her head no. "But, that's hard to believe, Miss. You are the most beautiful woman I've ever seen in the world. Why, any man would be a fool not to throw themselves at your feet."
"They do, I'm just not interested." She tapped her book and I glanced down and read the title. 'How to please a woman.' It clicked with me instantly and I felt slapped in the face . . . and she didn't even lay a hand on me, like the last three.
"Why, uh, er, oops? Well, have a Merry Christmas," I studdered, sitting back down in my seat. What the hell was wrong with me!? I couldn't pick up a date here if my life depended on it, and trust me, it did, and I had alot of power on the ship, while back on Earth, a nobody, I seemed to pick up women all the time.
"Having troubles, Snipe?" came the voice of my current roommate.
I waved a waitress down, ignoring him. "I'll have some water please."
"Water? Hah, after that little scene, I'd figure you would be trying to get drunk."
I slumped onto the table. "Don't you have some work to do, Grave? Isn't Drake got you on duty or some crap? Or why don't you try to find your idol, Death Star. Sure you two would get along just fine. He loves asskissing, I bet." I dodged the whack that I knew was coming, letting Grave's hand swipe air.
"Well, look at that, you're getting better at dodging," Grave complimented him, sitting down in the seat in front of me.
"You weren't invited."
"I know."
"Great." I sat upright and leaned back in my seat, tired. "So, what brings you to bother me?"
"Holiday season, after all. Have to bother someone," Grave told him. Behind him I thought I caught a glance of a Santa Claus, watching us. Damn conspiracy.
"Anyway, why did your bed smell like shit this morning?" I asked.
"I spent this morning in a sewer while you slept, as usual." Grave turned around behind him, obviously not noticing the Santa.
"Which is usual? Your spending time in a sewer or my sleeping?" I said.
"You know what I meant!" Grave muttered, trying to whack me again. I ducked it.
"Solved your case?" I asked.
"Yeah, I had to dress up as Santa and got mugged by shoppers, but, hey, I got the brat," Grave muttered.
I shivered at Santa. "Charming. Anyway, see you around, but not if I can help it." I stood up, missing another swipe.
"You forgot about your water. . ." Grave pointed out.
"You drink it." I grabbed my coat hanging from the back of my chair and put it on, heading off in search of a date for the holiday season. Hell, every girl on the station couldn't turn me down.
"By the way, every girl on the station is going to turn you down," Grave called out behind me.
Bastard I thought to myself, throwing the nearest thing at him. Figures it was my water . . .
Drake shook his head. "Lost your touch, General?"
Anger fired up. Me? Lost my touch? The great and magnicifent Snipe who was a 'superhuman'? Dashingly good looking and the best looking guy on the station? Lost his touch? "Yes."
Drake chuckled and kept withdrawn. Looks like the jerk had a long day. Toooo bad. Shame he looked up to me, makes it kind of hard to tell him off. "Sorry to hear that, John. Anything I can do to cheer you up?"
I shrugged. "Shame Garland's locked himself up. I could use a training match to cheer me up."
Drake thought for a moment, I could tell. "He still has to pick up his package Elayne signed for him."
A brief flicker of interest sparked but died as thoughts of not getting a girl came back. "Man, I'm almost willing to sell myself out. . ."
Drake shuddered. "Don't."
I glared. "Not good enough, huh? Huh?"
"Go! How do you expect to find a girl talking to me?" snarled Drake. I stepped back, surprised. Man, he bit my head. That was a first.
"Yeah, uh, sure, go find a girl. . ." I stammered and walked onto the elevator, mashing the civilian floors.
"Goooiiiing down?" the elevator hooted at me.
"Yes."
"Then why did you hit the up button?" the elevator asked me.
I blinked, confused and glanced down to see the right floor pressed. "Why you - -"
"Har har har! You should have seen your face!"
I paused. "But you can't see my face."
"Details . . ." the computer muttered.
"Has DEATH STAR been working on you?" I growled.
"Nah. He's just my idol. I like kiss the g---GAARR!" the elevator sputtered. I knew I shouldn't have done it, as I slowly retracted my fist from it's speaker. The tech crew would have it fixed in an hour. Yet my ROOM wouldn't be fixed for days. Damn conspiracy.
Stepping past a Santa Claus, I moved a couple steps over, careful to make sure I didn't get to near his backstabbing gloves. Walking along, I glanced around at the cheer going on. Pulling off the sunglasses, I gazed out and almost felt that Christmas cheer.
I mean, the last time I had Christmas was when I was nine years old. I never had believed in Santa Claus, since that time he tried to choke me when I was on his lap as a kid . . . it is still tramatic to think about . . .
"Ho ho ho. . ." Santa Claus hoed and leaned back. "And what do you want for Christmas, little boy?" he asked.
John rattled off a bunch of stuff, happy as a lark until he began to slip and slid off Santa's lap and then being grapped by the throat and began to strangle him, leaving John dangling in the air.
Santa panicked as he saw his fake mechanic hand has tightened around the boy's throat, choking him, the crowd screaming. The guards began to run this way, and the boy had a look of terror in his eyes.
Twirling around, Santa's hand kept crushing John's throat as he looked around panicly. "Help! Help!" Kids began to scream all around as John passed out due to lack of oxygen . . . not remembering anything else.
So, I have an active imagination when I'm desparate and bored and tired. Stopping at a place to get some food and something hot to drink, I moved in, tired and needing a break from all my searching. Sitting down in a booth, I orded some chicken wings and a pop as I let my wild imagination stop running so free. It seemed that the last few days my imagination was getting harder to control. Perhaps I should speak to X2 about getting some type of medicine to help it. Really, it's unlike myself.
But my thoughts kept drifting back to my family. The last Christmas I spent with them was with nine. After that, they were all too busy to spend it with me, and later I went off to join the Armed Forces. Not that I really regretted it.
The McCormicks never really were a family to me. And things Red Hens said made me think about maybe I wasn't really a McCormick after all. But if I wasn't a McCormick, who was I? Was I a Hens? Then what did that make Red to me? I should probably talk to Gazer about Red's past, but then again, the pirates probably wouldn't stick around long enough to strike up a conversation with them.
Plus, I wasn't out looking for answers. I wanted to find me a beautiful woman. Screw debating. Leave that for someone else this Christmas Eve. I'll to talk to Gazer after the holidays.
Biting into my chicken wing, I munched quietly, watching a girl at the bar keep glancing over at me, winking at me every now and then. Also I noticed Death Star walking by the place a few minutes later, heading out into the shopping area. Jerk.
Finishing the wing, I moved onto the next one, turning my attention back to the girl at the seat, taking in her beauty, and how she was obviously looking at me. A few seconds later the seat pushed in next to me and I turned my head to see a dark hair, brown eye, short man, a scar running over his left eye. "Why, Thomas, what brings you here?" I asked.
"Just seeing what you were doing. Haven't really talked to you since we've moved to the Fury. Avoiding me?"
Yes, damn you. I sighed mentally, knowing I shouldn't avoid Thomas. He and I worked together on a squad for awhile, before I was offically transferred behind a desk then to the Special Unit. For some reason I was trying to get away from past roots, though Death Star forced some of my past out when we tried to bring down Talon.
"Avoid you? Why?" I muttered, moving onto the next wing.
"Because I'm obviously your better?" Thomas joked.
"Yeah, yeah, sure. Whateeeeeever you say," I snickered.
Thomas looked me over. "So, Mr. Wishy Washy Ass, why are you moody?"
I groaned. "I can't pick up a date."
Thomas was silent for a moment. And then for another moment. Then he burst out laughing. "YOU!?"
I felt my face heating up. "Oh shut up."
Thomas did get quieter, but his body still vibrated the table with his uncontrolable laughing. I munched on my wings, ignoring it until he finally stopped. "Anyway, THAT'S your problem?"
I grumbled. "Yes."
Thomas thought for a moment. "Having a bit of bad luck or something?" he asked.
I shrugged. "Ever since joining the Special Unit."
Thomas nodded thoughtfully and pointed at a girl at the bar. "See her? She's a hooker. Just go over there and offer her some money."
I blinked. "She's a hooker?" I asked in amazement, looking over the young woman, who looked innocent and kind, like a flower. My next target after my wings.
"Yes, she's a hooker. You can tell. Just go over there and offer her some gil," Thomas told me. His face voiced he wasn't lying, so I stood up, took a sip of my drink, and walked over to her, trapping her on the shoulder.
She glanced at me and grinned sexily. "100 gil for a night?" I asked. She glared and slapped me across the face, sending me stumbling back into my table, knocking the greasy chicken wings into my face.
Thomas laughed his ass off. "God, man, anyone else and they would have been in bed with her, having the time of your life. Yet you get slapped back."
"She wasn't a hooker, you ass!" I snarled.
"Says you."
I growled, my fist tightening. "SHE WAS ACTUALLY LOOKING AT ME!" I shouted and threw at punch at him, missing.
"Whoa, dude, calm down! It was just one time!" Thomas tried to reason with me.
"That was the 20th turn down!!!" I shouted.
Thomas blinked. "You know, I think you need some time to yourself. . . I'll just talk to you later." He quickly retreated, and I thanked every god people believed in as I threw my money on the broken table and walked out, noticing a guy talking to the girl, the two moving off toward the living quarters. Damn conspiracy.
Watching a sphere fly in, attack the food table, then fly off, I puzzled for a moment, confused as hell. Glancing back and forth, I walked slowly to the empty punch bowl. "Well, damn, I wanted some . . ." I muttered.
Walking around, I bumped into someone. Surprised, I stepped back down and gazed into sparkling green eyes looking back up at me and I felt my breath get knocked out of me instantly. Her hair was a curling blond, cut short, and she wore a Christmasy dress. "Ex-Excuse me," I stammered.
She looked up into my eyes. "It's no problem, honestly. . ." she said slowly, still searching my eyes.
"Well, I, uh, so, what brings you here?" I asked.
She glanced down for a moment. "Just to have a good time. Thought I'd get out, after everything, and try to forget all the troubles that have been going on . . . it's stressful and scary."
I nodded, feeling sorry for her. "Yeah, I know . . ." I told her. I glanced around. "Can I get anything for you?" I asked.
She giggled. "I wouldn't if I were you. Leaving could be a bad idea."
Little thoughts started popping up in my head to what this could mean. "And why is that?" I asked with a sly grin.
"Well, we're under a mistletoe..." she commented, nodding upward. I gazed upward, the ingenius of it suddenly striking me. Why didn't I use a mistletoe SOONER? Damn me!
I grinned. "Well, can't go against that, now can I?" I asked and leaned over, kissing her on the lips. It lasted a few seconds before we both pulled away and looked around.
"Care for that drink now?" I asked.
Sitting up, I gazed around the park area I was at. "That was just . . . great." I meant it too.
"Yeah, yeah, it was," Daisy muttered, putting her shoes on. "Thanks, I needed that. Too much stress and all."
". . . what?" I asked, confused. A bad feeling was sinking in.
"Well, I used you, kinda. Sorry, John. But you were the first guy to walk over to that mistletoe and I just couldn't pass this up. You know how it is," Daisy told me, heading off into the night.
"You . . . used me!?" I asked, my heart aching. Why? Why did this happen to me?
"Yes." She gave me a sad smile and walked off toward the living area. "Perhaps another time when you're not so desperate?" I watched her go, grumbling. Worst sex of my damned life. Damn conspiracy.
Walking past a Santa Claus, who was eyeing me, I walked along towards the stores, heading into a little area alone. Sitting down at a table, I noticed a beautiful woman sitting a bar, drinking alone. I walked over and sat down next to her, gazing at her. She had beautiful golden hair and blue eyes. "Hello, Miss. The name's John McCormick. May I order you a drink?" I asked hopefully.
She gazed at me and smiled. "The name's Helen Smithfield. And if you want to buy me a drink, you can keep me company."
I smiled and bought us both a drink and I truned to her. "So, what's a beautiful lady like yourself doing her alone?" I asked her.
She glanced at me. "Well, John, the . . . guy," she said, her voice strange, "had some crisis to attend to, so I planned on staying her before heading home for the night. I might see him tomorrow." I felt disappointment hit me again.
"Oh . . .so, you two a couple?" I asked.
She thought. "I'm not sure. I like him. Though he is a reploid. I . . . just don't know."
"Reploid?" I pryed.
"Yeah, said his name was Michael," she told me.
The name struck home as being one of my ancestors. So that must mean . . . "Was his name really Death Star?"
She nodded. "Dreadful name." Anger boiled inside me and I felt like roaring. Even HE was getting the girls.
"I, uh, hope you two get along well . . ." I lied. She glanced at me, her hair falling around her shoulders like an angel.
"Something wrong, John?"
"I... don't like the guy. Everyone looks to him like he's some immortal or some crap. I just can't stand him. He walks in and thinks everything will jump and do what he says just because of his name."
She looked thoughtful. "Perhaps you misunderstand?" she asked.
I shook my head. "My instinct tells me differnet."
She leaned over and kissed me deeply on the lips, the breath taken away from me in surprise. When she broke off, she looked looked at me, then leaned over and kissed me again, wrapping her arms around the back of my head, both of us kissing deeply. Then she once again broke off, grab her purse and began to walk off. "Talk to you later, stud."
I watched her go, my heart pounding and my pulse raising. Was that my true love? I mean, I hadn't felt anything like that since Matsuoka, and that went wrong, for some reason. Maybe one I would review the relation to figure out what. I was even half tempted to visit her and see how she was doing. But something stopped me.
Standing up, I threw a tip down on the bar and walked over to the viewport, gazing out into the stars. Helen. . . Helen . . . how I think of you now.
Shaking my head, I sighed. And she was Death Star's girl! Another point to chalk up against his dumb ass. My fist tightened, angry at him, my every hormone shaking, wanting Helen to come back. To finish that kiss, to let it go further.
I sighed. It was still a few hours until midnight and I still haven't spent the night with someone in endless pleasure, who wasn't trying to use me, or someone who wasn't already taken. I sighed and walked off, the mistletoe still cradled in my pocket, and hardly forgotten.
Walking along the street, I walked along, noticing Santa Claus standing on the street corner, hoing as usual. My fist tightened. All day long I've been spotting this damn jerk and bad luck had been following me. Taking the past few days frustrations and I growled and began to walk towards him. Roaring, I caught his attention, and many others along the street. Running at him, I saw Santa's surprised expression. "Ho ho holy shit!" he cried out as a I rammed my fist into his face, sending him flying backwards and taking a crash along the ground.
Kids began to scream and cry around me and parents glared at me. I glanced around them. "What!? Come on!" I tried to defend myself.
A low sigh came from behind me. "Beating up on poor defenseless Santas now?" I turned around and saw Gravedigger standing there.
"Eh, I have a thing with Santa."
"So I see," Grave agreed, nodding at the crowd and the groaning Santa on the ground. "Finally caught yourself a woman?" he asked, shooeing the crowd away.
"Yes, actually. Did it in a small park type area, only ten feet, but still, nice place. You should have seen us. Sorta like warm, apple pie."
"Elayne's or homemade?" Grave asked. I raised my eyebrow. He raised his hands. "Well, Sniper, bravo." Then he began to gag. "AHHHH! I JUST GOT A MENTAL IMAGE OF A WOMAN CALLING YOU THAT IN THE SACK! KILL ME NOW!"
I grinned. "You brought it on yourself." Grave looked like he was trying to rip his head open from the image. "Hey! I'm not THAT bad you ass!"
Grave looked at me. "What's that? Did I just hear you say you were good? This conversation is making me sick. I think I'm going to go throw up somewhere. . . shouldn't have had that lunch earlier . . .beh. . ." He trotted off.
I crossed my arms and glared down at the Santa, who was coming around sitting up. "I'm gonna have to hurt you on principle." I reared back and kicked him in the head, sending him crashing back onto the ground.
Dusting my hands, I began to walk off when I heard a low groan and turned back to see Santa getting back up. What was he!? Some immortal?! Damn conspiracy. "I guess I didn't make myself clear the first time...prepare to die." I reared back and punched him in the head, sending him skidding across the floor and into the void of sleep.
With that I turned and left, a smug grin on my face. Damn conspiracy just got it's ass whooped up on. Now time for me to get my woman and then get some sleep. God I'm tired. And I have a craving for apple pie for some reason.
Throwing out the mistletoe over our heads, I watched the gum I attacked to it stick it to the ceiling, her never noticing. "Hi, my name is McCormick. John McCormick."
She grinned at me. "Laura. Laura Croft." My eyes buldged slightly. A few drinks later, and a thanks to a mistletoe, we were at her house. Boy, now that is a happy ending!
Not even looking up from his mag, Grave replied, "It's my new fetish, Mollusk porn."
With a look of sudden fright on my face, I invesitaged further. "Mollusk porn? Wha?"
Sighing, Grave put down his squishy nudity. "Hey, I don't have a backbone anymore, it's an instinct thing. I've taken an interest in other things without vertabrae." Picking up the magazine, Grave pulled out the centerfold. "Ooo, nice octo-boobies."
"Oh sweet Jesus and Mary. . ." I muttered in horror. Some frickin' happy ending . . .